![]() ![]() Let’s fix our eyes on Jesus. Let’s run hard and fast, courageously toward what He asks us to do. Jesus had just given Peter the responsibility of feeding His sheep, and Peter’s response was “ But Lord, what about this man?” implying, what does HE have to do for you? Jesus gently replied, “ What is it to you? You follow me!” Instead of groaning over my lot in life and comparing it away, I can do as Jesus commanded Peter in John 21. When I took my eyes off myself and glanced up, I saw a good God, a safe God I can say yes to, no matter what He’s calling me to. But feelings must be surrendered to God’s design and direction. But feelings are not the end, dear friend. My feelings were all over the map in those months, too. My pregnancy with baby six was not easy, just as I’d feared. When I finally stop focusing on my losses-and there have been many- I’m ready to see God begin to work His higher purposes. Years of living have taught me that the unexpected is always an opportunity to experience more of who God is. The question for me and for all of us is: Will we trust Him? And always He has purposes and plans we cannot see or know. When it felt impossible.īecause the work that God wants to do in us is always heart work. Why would God ask me to do something I didn’t want to do? Why would I choose to obey anyway? When it felt uncomfortable. Thirty-eight years puts it in perspective. For 38 years his parents suffered this loss. Jesus answered for all of us who have had expectations dashed, “ It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 9:3).įor 38 years this man lived blind. Like us, she experienced a death as she received this gift of God to her. She’d been heartbroken and afraid at his birth, yet with the tender compassion God has given us women she reached for her newborn son, holding him near, consoling his cries. How many times do you think the blind man’s mother secretly wondered what she had done to cause and deserve this? John 9:2 tells us the disciples’ first thought was whose fault is his blindness? Don’t we do that too? We see a handicapped child and wonder about the mother’s prenatal care or their home life. He sees us, too, when we aren’t looking for Him. ![]() I love that Jesus saw him when the man couldn’t see Jesus to even know He was near. Jesus was walking along and noticed a man who was blind from birth. It’s perfectly illustrated in a Bible story most of us know. I know it’s true for me because it has been true throughout time. Philippians 1:6 tells us, “ He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion …” I chose to trust my Father in Heaven who rules with wisdom and purpose. He loved me and was at work in my life for good … always for good. I grieved not getting what I had planned. But then I reminded myself of what I knew to be true about God. I focused on life not going the way I wanted it to. No sense pretending we are always happy about God’s plans and His impeccable timing that never seems to match mine. The loss of a dream or a hope brings grief, which must be acknowledged. Bury my talents?Īt first, in both of these seasons, I saw only what I was missing, what had been taken away. Death is like that. I couldn’t imagine why He’d tell me to box up those hopes and stuff them on the shelf. ![]() In my obedience, I trusted His love and plan for my life. I wasn’t sure God would ever return my paints, but I knew He knew what was best for me. ![]() Instead, He wanted me to invest my energy and talent cooperatively with Him in creating beauty in my children. With His characteristic gentle whisper to my heart, He asked me to shelve my art supplies and my dreams of painting for commission. Several years earlier, God asked me to do something else I didn’t want to do. I was free!īut now God was asking me to die to self. Happily, I thought we were done, all baby gear sold at a garage sale. Really? I felt I had obeyed God enough with my womb, pregnancy was difficult for me, and I wanted my body back. “God, I don’t want to do this again!” God was asking me, telling me, making me be a mother for a sixth time. I cried for three days when I discovered the answer. I had Dennis pick up a pregnancy test on the way home from work. I didn’t want to admit it, but my mind began to panic. An apple dipped in peanut butter might help, but it didn’t. A short rest during their down time didn’t help at all. I remember when, after an exhausting week wrangling five relentless children, I started feeling a little off. It’s scary, isn’t it? I’ve wondered the same. Why would He do that? How can I negotiate? I really feel God asking me to do something that sounds too hard. ![]()
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